Lonely without you
by AtroquinineMyLove
Summary: It's Hershel's 18th birthday and all he can think about is Randall. Then he receives something unexpected to turn up (RanLay)
1. Chapter 1

It was Hershel's 18th birthday, but he didn't feel like doing anything. Every year, he would do something with Randall on his birthday, but Randall was no longer around...

He was sat on his bed, looking at pictures. "Randall..." He picked up his whole scrapbook of pictures of just him and Randall and held it close to him. Then he just let his tears fall. "Randall, i-it's all my fault..." He was angry. With himself. He could've saved him.

' _I wish you would come back. I'm lonely without you.'_

That wasn't all he regretted. For years, Hershel had a "little" crush on Randall. He never told him. He wished he had.

Then he heard a knock on the front door. He wiped his tears and went to go answer. The person he saw at the door was the last person he expected to see.

"You didn't think I'd miss your birthday, did you?"

It was Randall.

At first Hershel thought he was dreaming, he was pretty sure it was impossible, but he didn't want to question it.

He wasn't sure what to do, so he held onto Randall and pulls him close into his arms.

"Hershel, it's alright." Randall smiled slightly as he pulled back from the hug.

"Aw, Hersh, have you been crying? On your birthday?" He pouted.

"I was thinking about you."

"Well I'm here now."

"Randall I missed you so much." He started to tear up again.

"Hershel, no tears okay? I want to see happy Hershel." He smiled.

* * *

The two of them were sat up in Hershel's room.

"Randall, what actually happened to you down there?"

Randall told the whole story, how he survived, what happened to him, everything.

"I see..."

"What's this?" Randall picked up the scrapbook.

"I made it... after what happened."

Randall looked through it and smiled at all the pictures of them.

"This is really cute." Randall moved closer to Hershel and reached for his hand.

"Randall I'm really glad you're back. I wanted to leave, I wanted to run away. I felt it was my fault you were gone."

"Hershel listen, I don't want you to be blaming yourself. You couldn't do anything about it. Besides, I'm back now so it's okay."

Randall smiled.

"Come on Hersh, I haven't seen you smile yet, come on I've missed a whole year, you need to refresh my memory."

Randall leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"Come on, smile for me."

Hershel was blushing a lot at how close Randall was but he was smiling.

"There we go! I love seeing your smile, Hershel."

"O-Oh, I, uh-"

"Hershel can you close your eyes?"

"Why?"

"I have something for you. For your birthday."

Hershel closed his eyes and Randall got closer to him.

"Happy birthday." He whispered, as he pressed their lips together.

Hershel opened his eyes in shock. Randall was kissing him. He decides not to question it so he closed his eyes and pulled Randall closer.

"I've waited so long to be able to do that." Randall said with a smile.

"Randall, I've always... I've always kind of had feelings for you."

"Well duh, I know that." He smiled, satisfied. "Hershel can you stop being so cute? It's not very fair." He teases, the two of them lying down on the bed, Randall running his hand through Hershel's hair.

"I don't think so."

"Alright then, it's okay, I'm sure I'll be able to deal you being so adorable." He kissed Hershel's nose.

"Hey Hershel, have you heard the expression, 'if you love something set it free, if it comes back, it's yours'?"

"Yes."

"I guess this means I'm yours." He smiled. "Anyways, I'm sorry I couldn't bring you a real present for your birthday."

"I already have the best present I could ask for. You."

"Oh you're such a sap." He teased. "But I love you."

* * *

 **Yeah I know he got amnesia but let me dream okay ;-;**


	2. Chapter 2

"So what do you say, Hersh?" Randall said, holding the hand of his new lover. "Why don't we hang out for your birthday? Just like old times?"

Hershel smiled. "Randall, you make it sound like it's been 10 years."

"Well, I know it's only been a year but I actually kind of missed this place." He smiled. "And I missed you, of course."

"Alright, I'd love to!" They left the house, holding each other's hand.

"Randall, I do have a question, when I told you I had feelings for you, you said 'I know'... how did you know exactly?"

"Alright, well, after I went back to see my family, yesterday, you were the next person I wanted to see, I was going to this morning, but I knew I'd have to tell you how I feel and I wasn't too sure how. To be honest, I was kind of nervous. So I went to see Angela first and told her I was scared, you see, she knew I liked you for a while. So she told me that you liked me and gave me advice on how to tell you."

"Nervous? That's not like you. How cute." Hershel smirked.

Randall pouted. "I'm not cute."

"You're right. You're adorable."

The two of them were sitting under a tree. Randall resting his head on Hershel's shoulder.

"You know... I probably should have listened to you guys."

"Randall it's okay, all that matters is that you're here now."

"I know, it's just... well, I kind of decided that after it was over, I was going to tell you..."

"I'm not going to pretend I wasn't distraught over losing you. I wanted to run away, I wanted to leave in hope that I'd forget about it, but I knew I wouldn't, I liked you Randall. A lot. I blamed myself for what happened to you, I began to wish it was me instead of you."

"I... I had no idea. I'm so sorry..."

Hershel shook his head. "I thought you said no tears?" He pulled Randall in for a hug.

"I-I'm so sorry, Hershel, it's my fault."

"Shh, I'll hear nothing of it." He said as he kissed Randall's head. "It is not your fault."

"But-"

Hershel cut him off by kissing him. "No buts. Now cheer up." He smiled. "Didn't you tell me you didn't want to see any tears? That you wanted to see my smile? I want to see yours as well, come on, for my birthday?" He pouted.

Randall smiled slightly. "Alright, just for you."

The two teenagers sat there for a while, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

"Hersh..."

"Hm?"

"I... I think I..."

"You..."

"I think I... love you." Randall started blushing.

"I love you too Randall." He said with a reassuring smile, interlocking their fingers.

* * *

As it had gotten darker, Randall had fallen asleep with his head rested on Hershel's shoulder. He didn't want to disturb Randall or wake him so he decided to carry Randall on his back, Hershel's home was pretty close to where they were anyway. He was just being careful not to wake him. Once he had got home, he went up into his room and put Randall, who was surprisingly still fast sleep, down in bed.

* * *

Hershel was in bed next to him, the two of them were cuddled up, Hershel was still awake but Randall still sleeping.

Randall was clinging onto Hershel, pulling him close to him.

He was holding on quite tightly, not letting go at all.

He suddenly woke up, sitting up in bed, his breathing had gotten heavier.

"Randall? Are you okay?" Hershel pulled Randall into him and rubbed his back. "What's wrong? You're shaking."

"I... I had a dream..."

"A dream?"

Hershel pulled up an extra blanket and wrapped it around Randall, trying to ease his shaking.

"Was it about...?"

Randall nodded, burying his face into the blanket.

"Oh Randall..." Hershel softly rubbed Randall's back for comfort, he didn't like seeing Randall like this.

Randall lifted his head up from the blankets and leaned back into Hershel's arms.

"Randall, listen, you're here, you're okay."

"I know but-"

"It was just a nightmare, you're fine, trust me."

"...I'm lucky to have you, Hershel."

Hershel smiled. "Don't forget it."


End file.
